I got a letter back from an agent recently which got two completely different emotional responses from me all at once!
You only ever send the first three chapters out initially so it's never the whole thing.
But the agent said how much she'd enjoyed my book, and that there were lots of things she really liked about it (cue stirrings of excitement) But - (oh no, there's a but!) given the current tough climate it wasn't one she could take on right now.
But - and this is a 'but' from me - she'd taken the time to tell me at the very end it was a close yes.
Initially when I read the email, I was gutted.
But when I thought about it, I was actually really pleased.
Because actually, I know from working in TV, you don't always hear back, and if you do, it's usually a pretty standardised letter.
This reply though had come from the lady who ran the agency, and it was personalised, so she'd taken the time to write to me, and to tell me it was a close call. Which was gutting, but good at the same time.
I guess it's a bit like an Olympian coming fourth in their race. And it's not the same I know, but bear with me... It's like knowing all you want is to take home gold, silver or bronze for your country and if you come fourth, you don't have any of them. But - here's that but again - what you do have is a close call. You're not quite close enough to have done it. But you're close enough to know you could have done it.
And when you think about it, if you apply for a job (even in a non competitive environment), you still don't get a yes straight away. It still might take you several attempts before you get the job you're looking for.
So why should looking for an agent be any different?
Because apart from the fact agents don't want someone who has been bombarding anybody and everybody, it's also about me and what I want as well.
I'd rather take my time to find an agent who is the right fit for me.
I like nice people. Life's too short to focus on people who aren't nice. So I want to work with someone nice, who I know will be honest and straight with me, whilst helping me make my work the best I can, and whilst developing my career at the same time.
I also need someone who can go with my creativity, because whilst I only ever write what I feel inside, I don't always stick to the same genre.
Probably because of my journalism training - and just me and my personality - I'm always really interested in lots of different stories and as long as the stories are interesting and the characters are strong, I'm in. Which means I won't always write drama. Sometimes I'll write comedy. And other times the main protagonist might be a child, other times it might be two old people. But whatever I write, I hope I move people emotionally and get them thinking about life, and people, and what goes on behind the image that all of us present to the outside world.
Luckily for me, I'm a bit like an Olympian (not sporting wise!) But in the sense that if I get knocked down, I can pick myself back up again.
I don't expect to win straight away. And I know my writing won't appeal to every single person who picks it up. But I'm dogged enough, and determined enough, to keep trying until I get the yes I'm looking for.
I've dreamt about becoming a full-time writer since I was six years old. And if Wimbledon finalist, Novak Djokovic, can dream of becoming a champion at the age of seven, constructing a Wimbledon trophy out of any random materials he could find in his bedroom at the time, then I owe it to my six-year-old me to keep writing until - like Djokovic - I finally 'make' it.
#keepdreaming #keepwriting #likeDjokovic #Djokovic #writing #amwriting #writingcommunity #literaryagents #agent
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