I was planning on writing about something totally different today, but then I went for a run with a friend this morning and heard some really sad news. And now I'm struggling to make myself write anything (which isn't like me at all).
I took a photo when I got back to send to G, just to say hi and good morning, and for once, I didn't smile. Normally, I can't help it. I think it's years of having people point cameras at you, shouting, "Smile!" I'm sure there's a joke in that somewhere, if only I felt funny today (a photographer who always shouts "Frown!" at people before taking the photo).
Anyway... it got me thinking about everything that's going on at the moment and how living in #lockdown is making us all feel, and how that affects what we watch on telly, or the kinds of books we want to read.
It makes sense that it would though, right?
After all, I always pick the colour of my clothes every day, based on how I'm feeling.
When it comes to being entertained, I love a mix of serious and funny. I love drama that captures life in such a way it feels real. But if you can mix it up with a bit of happy and sad, that's my perfect watch. Something that can make you laugh and cry at the same time, things like Phoebe Waller-Bridge's #Fleabag or Ricky Gervais' #AfterLife. That to me is perfect telly. I also don't mind things that are quite dark if the characters are well written, the storyline is good, and there's some humanity to it; #TheFall being a perfect example of that. But on the flip side, I also like a good laugh (and if it's a clever laugh, even better). Something like #FridayNightDinner will do that for me.
But lately I've really started noticing the effect that lockdown is having on me.
It's like a giant roller coaster of emotions - veering from stressful to sad to intense or frustrating, to fine and getting on with it, to fed up the next day and not really sure why. And that's coming from a generally happy, positive person.
So when I turned my telly off last night having streamed the first episode of what was a pretty heavy-going drama, based on true events, I just felt a little weirded out by it. And quite frankly, I'm not sure if I want to put myself through that again for part 2. It reminded me of a close friend who was going through depression at the time Toy Story 3 came out, and just watching Andy abandon his toys had this strangely-exaggerated, devastating effect on him.
As far as books go, I think that's one of the reasons why I enjoyed #TheThursdayMurderClub so much. I always would have anyway because the characters are so funny and it's so well written. But it feels like now, more than ever, we all need a good laugh.
When I was writing my book, #BoomsGraffitiBoy, I was very conscious of how I was making the reader feel. On the one hand I had to make them feel Boom's angst at living with an abusive stepdad because the whole point of my book is to raise awareness of a subject that I don't think is talked about enough. But on the other hand, it's your job as a writer to entertain people too. So I made sure I showed the good side of life too - the friends, the humour, the banter and Boom's escape (graffiti). I also wanted to leave the reader with a sense of hope, because to me that's what life is like - it's never just one shade. Even in some of my toughest moments, and my friends' too, we always seem to pull out some good old dark humour to get us through. I think I managed it too, because all the reviews I've had say the same thing - that I made them laugh and cry at the same time. Which I'm happy about. Because no-one can deal with 100% sadness. And especially not now, in the midst of a global pandemic.
So what about you?
Is lockdown affecting how you feel? And if so, is it changing the type of programmes you want to watch and the kind of books you want to read?
Do you find yourself reaching for more and more comedy, because you feel like you need a good laugh? Or, are you ok going with some of the darker stuff still?
Retweet, share, comment - I'd like to know what you think.
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