I WENT to a gig last week – to see someone well-known (slash, famous) perform a DJ set.
We got there early, like most people.
Because like me, most people have followed this person for a while.
Anyway, it was pretty clear very early on they were drunk, because they rocked up on stage half an hour early and gave lots of hugs to the DJ before them (in the way drunk people do).
So we knew.
But there’s a lot of performers out there who have a drink before they go on stage and still somehow manage to give a good show, so we were hopeful.
Half an hour later, they walked back on to a warm welcome, but slurred so badly into the mic you couldn’t even make out what they were saying.
I was quite enjoying the music at the start though – even though they were staring so hard at the decks trying to keep track of which one was on the go, it was obvious it was all going to go wrong eventually...
As the minutes went by, it got more and more painful to watch.
They kept pulling the stylus off the wrong turntable; turning the volume down without any mixing; playing more and more songs that slowly killed the mood of the crowd and slurring so badly into the mic that no-one could make out any of the words.
After an hour, they just lifted the stylus off the record that was playing, slurred something into the mic and staggered off.
Me being me, I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Thinking maybe we’d just witnessed a not-so-private meltdown. But after five minutes of us all standing there, wondering what to do, they staggered back on, only to tell us –
“The great thing about doing DJ sets is you can play any old shit and have a great time. But I’ve been told I’ve been contracted to do another hour, so I’ve come back on to play you shit!” (not quite verbatim, but that's the gist of what they said)
Most people, like us, started walking off at that point – because let’s face it, no-one wants to pay to watch someone who, quite frankly – Can’t Be Arsed.
Luckily for them, their fan base doesn’t seem to have kicked off too much online. Because let’s face it, Social Media is HARSH.
Me personally, I don’t believe in slagging anyone off online, but after the shit-show that was this person’s set, I did complain to the venue (where staff were amazing by the way).
I made a point of asking them to make sure it got forwarded to the person's management team – because apart from the fact their behaviour was just hugely disrespectful to everyone who had travelled and paid to see them, their management team would have been fully aware what kind of state they were in before they went on.
Everyone was talking about it in the toilets all night, so it wasn't a secret.
They'd been seen drinking in the local pub all afternoon and were so drunk the only way they managed to keep upright was by clinging to the scaffolding outside the pub.
In complete contrast to this, I went to see Coldplay in the summer and Chris Martin was just… lovely. So grateful to be there on stage, with his band, doing what they loved – performing. He must have spent a good five minutes thanking all his fans for buying tickets to come and see them, at a time when everyone was starting to struggle financially.
It was after thinking about that, that I realised why the shit-show of a DJ set bothered me so much.
It’s because ever since I was six years old, I've known with every bone of my body that all I really want to do is be a full-time, working writer.
But as a single parent, working full-time, my writing constantly has to take a backseat, when actually if I could sit and write all day and all night, I would.
It’s a constant struggle to find time to do what I love – but equally, I know I’ll never give up, because I want it too much.
The whole irony of the situation is, however, that when I was working in telly, I had the time to write, but nothing to show anyone. Now I’ve left the industry, I've got the material, but no longer the contacts.
And there’s so many people out there in the world like me.
People who really want to allow their creative streak to take over, but have to knuckle down and conform – for no other reason than that's just the way things have panned out for them in their life.
Another time, another place, I’d have been running my own production company somewhere – because I have so many creative ideas (constantly), that together with my Journalistic training, I think I’ve got a good nous for what would work and what wouldn’t.
Creative people know they won’t ever be truly happy until they’re doing what they love – instead of being stuck in a job where nothing… flows.
So to all the Chris Martins in the world – we love you!
Because creatives should be grateful.
Grateful for their fans. Grateful for their lives. And grateful for the chance to express themselves freely - exactly how they want, when they want.
So, if you’re lucky enough to be a creative, doing what you love, in the words of the great ArrDee himself-
Don’t take the piss!
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