I have this friend... she’ll be reading this...
Who is just simply--
One of the Loveliest People I know.
But lately she’s been having a bit of a hard time, and feels like even when she tries to help other people, they either don't appreciate it or throw it back in her face.
Like most nice people in life, she's hit a point where she feels like being caring hasn't got her anywhere, so I needed to remind her of all the people who do appreciate how lovely and kind she is (me included!)
But it seems to me in that tiny portion of a conversation, lies one of life’s most important lessons.
If you give up being kind just because of someone else whose opinion doesn’t really matter, then you've let the ‘bad guys’ win.
There will always be selfish people in this world.
People who drive themselves forward at the expense of others-
Who have more money-
More things-
Less worries-
than you.
But I've thought about this a lot.
There's nothing wrong with being ambitious and having dreams. It's more about what you're willing to do to get there. How many people you're willing to step on along the way.
Those kind of people are just a different type of breed.
And there’s a lot to being kind I think.
There’s an interesting survey that Harvard University did which compared the happiness of people with enough money to live a comfortable life against the happiness of those with so much money they never had to worry again.
And what it revealed was, that any extra money over and above ‘comfortable’ did not bring them any more happiness.
So in other words,
20% more money does not equate to 20% more happiness.
My friends have pretty much carried me through some of the hardest moments in my life. Moments all of us have had – the kind that catch us unaware and send us crashing to the ground, unable to move, until that funny thing happens and our souls heal and repair and we become strong and are able to get back up again.
But if I was working from 6am until midnight every night pushing all my work interests, my dreams of power, status, I’d never see my friends.
I’d have a distant relationship with my kids.
And all my views of life would be work-focussed only.
How would that make me, or anyone, happy?
I’d have missed out on all the moments that have made my life so rich.
Moments like during lockdown when myself and two of my friends sat on camping chairs on the Green by our houses, getting drunk on M&S tinned Cocktails, talking about how rubbish everything was but loving every single time someone stopped to talk to us...
The neighbour down the next cul de sac I'd never met before who was mourning the loss of his wife. His funny tales of his talking parrot.
The street cat from Greece that sat underneath our chairs all night and didn't leave until we packed up all our stuff and went home.
My gorgeous Russian neighbour walking past us in blazing hot sunshine in a thick winter coat and woolly hat, with Russian music blaring from a radio in her pocket.
All of these moments, and more, contribute to a rich tapestry of memories that when I'm older (and hopefully still have a memory) can look back on and smile.
If I was chasing money, success, and power all the time, then I would have missed out on all of that.
Personally I think those among us who want the world to be a better, kinder, brighter place just need to shine our lights a little brighter. Just to remind the 'others' that they've not won.
That our spirits remain strong and unbroken.
So, to my friend, my kids – and anyone else who happens to be reading this and is sick of their good nature being taken for granted...
Remember to keep shining your light.
And to
With that in mind, let me leave you with one of my favourite poems, written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta...
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centred. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine
enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
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