Back in June, I started an early draft of a blog (a different blog I later published). But I'd given it this title.
The Power of Words.
Which as it goes, is perfect for what I want to write about this week.
Words - and how they affect people.
Boom's Graffiti Boy looks at domestic violence. How the perpetrator controls his victim with physical abuse. But it's not just physical, but emotional abuse too.
Sometimes people think that emotional abuse is somehow not as bad as physical abuse.
But think about it.
Words have been used since the start of time to share memorable stories and lessons;
To unite communities and to inspire campaigns;
To show empathy and emotions.
So it makes sense that as with everything in life, where there is ying, there is also yang.
If words can be used to write beautiful songs, to inspire a nation, to remind someone how much you love them, then so too can words be used for darker means too.
To confuse and control; to diminish and degrade; to make people believe things that aren't true; to take away someone's confidence and belief in themselves until they have no strength left to fight.
If words can make someone feel happy and treasured and loved, so too can they be used to make them feel belittled and small and somehow less 'valuable'.
But why do people want to do that to someone? What motivates them? Jealousy, anger, insecurity? What?
It isn't just controlling people in controlling relationships, it can bosses at work, or the trolls online.
After all, how easy is it to fire off an angry post without even stopping to think about the consequences?
They have a name - these 'keyboard warriors'.
People who feel they can say whatever they want to whoever they want because it feels anonymous. They're not saying it to someone's face, they're not giving anyone the chance to answer back or to stand up for themselves.
If the person they were saying it to was stood in front of them, 100 per cent they wouldn't say those things to their face.
It's easy to fire off all kinds of nasty, crappy comments if you don't have to look at the person's face that you're saying it to.
But in my mind, if you have something to say, you say it to someone's face.
That way you get to face the consequences - the real life consequences - of saying what you've said.
Words are powerful things.
It's why song lyrics, lines in books and films, sayings - all the good ones strike a chord somewhere deep in your psyche and make you stop and pause for a minute while you take them in.
Everyone wants to feel good about themselves.
It's why artists and authors like Charlie Mackesy have such a strong following on Social Media - and why their work strikes such a chord with so many people during distressing times. Times like now, in the midst of a global pandemic.
So if you're one of the people who likes to fire off without taking time to stop and think about what you're saying, ask yourself this--
Would you say what you are saying to someone's face? Or do you know that it would be a step too far?
And if the answer to that is yes, then why are you saying it? What's really the motivation behind your words?
We all get mad and emotional, angry and upset.
But if you're holding on to an emotion for longer than you should, and it's making you behave in such a way you know deep down is not acceptable, be aware that it's not healthy and try to be the bigger person.
Be kind.
So now let's flip this on its head.
Let's spread the word about KINDNESS.
How good it makes you feel when you are kind to someone. How good it makes you feel when someone is kind to you. How good you feel when you hear about other people's kindness.
So in honour of Feel Good Friday and all the beautiful, kind people who do exist in the world, here are some of my favourite sayings on kindness.
Don't forget to share - because there's no such thing as 'too much' kindness...
'In a world where you can be anything, be kind.'
Caroline Flack
'Nothing beats kindness, said the horse. It sits quietly beyond all things.'
Artist and Author Charlie Mackesy
Also from Charlie...
'What do you want to be when you grow up?
'Kind.' said the boy.
'It is because I think so much of warm and sensitive hearts, that I would spare them from being wounded.'
Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist
'A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.' Roahl Dahl, The Twits
'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
Maya Angelou
'Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.'
Author J.M. Barrie
'I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I'll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else... Kindness - that simple word. To be kind - it covers everything, to my mind. If you're kind that's it.
Roahl Dahl
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